Three Tollers in Toledo!

2011-12-18T16:36:00.002-05:00

How about another.....?

Personalize funny videos and birthday eCards at JibJab!

2011-12-16T18:06:00.000-05:00

Merry Christmas
from our crazy family to you!

Personalize funny videos and birthday eCards at JibJab!

From,
Steve, Jenni, Robby, and Uncle Bun (AKA Adam... Steve's brother that lives out here in Toledo)

Cycling

2011-10-11T22:34:00.000-04:00

Well, one more interview offer today-- Albuquerque, New Mexico. Does anyone else find that word awkward to spell.....?.... Albuquerque......

Anyway, over the last week, Robby has been taking off on his tricycle! Before then, he mostly just enjoyed having me push him around on it-- which, with this awesome tricycle that Grandma and Grandpa Toller gave him for his birthday, was quite convenient! It has handles on the back for a parent to steer it if they want to. These are removable, but are very nice to have on while the little tyke is just learning!

Anyway, here he is, showing off his skills.

Waiting

2011-10-11T00:02:00.002-04:00

Well, Steve has received some more interview offers:

Loma Linda University Program, Loma Linda, CA

and University of Texas Southwestern Medical School Program, Dallas, TX

(yes, that is TWO programs in Dallas on the list now..... twice the chance that we will end up close to you guys, Julie and Justin ;) ;) )

He has interviews scheduled from now until Christmas, pretty much. So, needless to say, he will be doing a lot of traveling. Right now, he is in Phoenix doing his rotation there all month and will interview while he is there.

Robby and I have survived a whole week without Daddy here. Robby has handled it very well! I have actually been surprised. Every day he usually just reminds me at least once that "Daddy flew on a airplane. He's in Arizona, Mommy." But, he has been happy and we have enjoyed our time together thus far.

We have tried to stay busy and do some fun things to keep us distracted. It helped a lot that the weather pretty much returned to SUMMER this week. We have been in the 80s which has been awesome!

Here are some highlights from the week:

Peanuts and Fries from Five Guys:

Mommy learning to crochet:

...and Robby wanting to try it out too!

I made this hat for "baby sister".....

...then Robby insisted I needed to make him a brown hat too!

Picking apples at Johnston's Fruit Farms:

Enjoying the fruits of his labor...

Perhaps we went overboard...

Fun times at the park:

We love our zoo!:

Fun with friends:

Baking with apples:

I have been making different apple recipes almost every day in attempts to use our apples. It has been a tasty week!

And of course Robby is a great "helper"...

So, one week down, three to go!

Hopefully Robby continues to be happy and do well. Even though he isn't acting out due to it, I do know he definitely notices Daddy is gone and misses him.

Robby put his tie on this bear last night, then brought him out back and said the bear was going to church. Then he left the bear on the steps and said "He is waiting for daddy"...

...and he is still sitting there... waiting...

Two new interview offers:

2011-09-29T15:03:00.001-04:00

Dallas, Texas and Memphis,Tennessee!

Great News!

2011-09-28T22:11:00.000-04:00

These are two of Robby's most favorite people- Weston and Maria Carter.

We are so excited for them, as they just found out they will be ADOPTING A BABY IN NOVEMBER!!! Hoooooorraaayyy!

They will be such amazing parents and deserve this so much.

CONGRATULATIONS, WESTON AND MARIA!

WE LOVE YOU!

Residency Programs

2011-09-21T12:59:00.000-04:00

Here is the list of Pathology Residency Programs that Steve applied to:

University of Arkansas for Medical Sciences Program, Little Rock, AR
St Joseph's Hospital and Medical Center, Phoenix, AZ
University of Arizona Program, Tucson, AZ
Loma Linda University Program, Loma Linda, CA
Mount Sinai Medical Center of Greater Miami Program, Miami Beach, FL
Indiana University School of Medicine Program, Indianapolis, IN
University of Louisville Program, Louisville, KY
Saint Louis University School of Medicine Program, St Louis, MO
University of Missouri-Columbia Program, Columbia, MO
University of Nebraska Program, Omaha, NE
University of New Mexico Program, Albuquerque, NM
Cleveland Clinic Foundation Program, Cleveland, OH
University of Toledo Program, Toledo, OH
Penn State University/Milton S Hershey Medical Center Program, Hershey, PA
Thomas Jefferson University Program, Philadelphia, PA
University of Tennessee Program, Memphis, TN
Baylor University Medical Center Program, Dallas, TX
Methodist Hospital (Houston) Program, Houston, TX
Texas A&M College of Medicine-Scott and White Program, Temple, TX
University of Texas Southwestern Medical School Program, Dallas, TX
University of Utah Program, Salt Lake City, UT
West Virginia University Program, Morgantown, WV

So far, he has received invitations to interview in Cleveland, Omaha, Houston, Morgantown, and Toledo!

I check his e-mail several times a day now, anxious to see what states I can add to my list of potential destinations for us!

A few more

2011-09-19T09:17:00.000-04:00

Robby has reached a stage where, if told to smile, he doesn't quite know how to smile... resulting in some silly faces! But, still worth capturing and remembering :)

On another note, Steve has received two invitations to interview for residency! One is here at the University of Toledo... they pretty much told him before he even officially applied that they want him to schedule an interview. The other is in Omaha, Nebraska. I didn't expect to already start hearing back from schools, so this is a pleasant surprise! Man, these next few months are going to be full of so much waiting and anticipation! We won't find out where we are going until MARCH!

I will post a list of all of the places we applied soon.

2011-09-15T14:06:00.000-04:00

Well, Robby turned two over a month ago, but I just finally got around to taking his annual pictures. Part of my putting it off was due to the fact that my digital SLR camera has passed on... leaving me with nothing but my little point and shoot camera. I kept hoping I would find something else to use, but finally just decided I had better just do it with the point and shoot or I would never do it!

Anyway, there is my little man.

As a reminder-- I am going to be taking pictures of him each year in these clothes that are OBVIOUSLY much too big for him. It will be fun to see how he grows into them over the years :)

Here are some of the pictures from YEAR ONE, so you can compare:

We are alive....!

2011-08-24T21:47:00.000-04:00

I know.... I do not claim to be the world's best blogger by any means.
And I am not going to start this post by promising to do better.... because, I know darn well that just isn't likely.
But, here is a quick update:

Steve finished his 3rd year of Medical School, went to Chicago and took the Clinical Skills part of the big boards that he has to take before applying to residencies (and PASSED IT! YAY!), has decided to be a Pathologist (most likely..... he could give me a major anxiety attack and change his mind last minute... but, hey.....), and we are currently in the process of researching the Pathology Residency programs around the country and picking which ones to apply to. Steve goes to Arizona for the month of October to do a rotation at one of the Hospitals there. Hopefully he can get his foot in the door there and increase our chances of moving somewhere where frigid winters are a thing of the past.

We spent the month of July in Utah and enjoyed time with our families. When we returned to Toledo, we found that Steve's brother, Adam, had moved in up the street from us! (ok.... so we knew he was going to be there.... but exciting none the less). He just started the Physician's Assistant program here at U of Toledo.

Robby turned TWO on August 4th (the day after we returned from Utah....... we got in our final trip of not having to pay for a plane ticket for him). Robby is doing very well at living up to the title of "TWO YEAR OLD" and has, unfortunately taken on so many of those "TERRIBLE" traits that come with the age. It is amazing how it seriously just comes with the age.....

And, finally, here's a little something from Robby:

March

2011-03-24T17:48:00.000-04:00

We love going to the zoo! On this particular day, Robby was able to get exceptionally close to the polar bears!

We live in a duplex-- us on the ground level, someone else upstairs, and a shared basement (unfinished...used for laundry and storage). Luckily, when we are in our part of the house, Robby has no acces to stairs. But, in order to get outside or down to the basement, you go out into a hallway where there are stairs.

The other day, I was downstairs looking through some boxes for something and Robby was down there with me. I wasn't paying close enough attention, and he apparently went up the stairs and then tried to walk back down them (I am guessing here... I didn't see it happen.... but, judging from how he always tries to walk down the stairs when I am with him, I am assuming that is what he tried). Unfortunately, without me there to hold his hand, he fell down the stairs and landed on the unfinished basement floor :( Poor kid. Luckily he just got a big bruise, some scrapes and a scratches.

Here he is, bundled in his valentines blanket and laying on his heart pillow after his fall.

We have started going to the library a lot lately. The main library down town has an awesome childrens area. It is a fun family activity.

Robby has become quite fond of Elmo lately. He won't even really sit and watch Sesame Street (or any show for that matter). But, he likes watching short YouTube videos of Elmo singing songs and stuff.
Here is the first one he ever saw, which started off his fondness of the furry red monster. (Steve originally found this video when randomly searching for YouTube videos of songs about ducks... haha).

Grandma Kirkham sent him this fun Elmo in a package with an Elmo coloring book and some treats.

Eating an english cucumber dipped in raspberry walnut vinaigrette-- aka "sauce."

January/February 2011

2011-03-24T17:04:00.000-04:00

Robby is becoming quite creative:

Using his Lego box as a stool.....dangerous... but innovative.

Robby soup...

Apparently it is easier to color while hanging over the edge of the table.......?

I learned how to crochet recently for a service project. We made these little beanies for newborns.... mine ended up very small.... more of a premie size.

Robby loves to help unload the dishwasher and does a great job of it (handing me the dishes so I can put them away). But, I don't let him help load the dirty dished into the dishwasher. So, he decided he would just get all the clean pots and pans out of the cupboard and load them in instead.

Bilbo the Snowman.

December 2010

2011-03-04T23:47:00.002-05:00

Robby loved (and still does) sitting in a big chair up to the table.

We received lots of packages in the weeks leading up to Christmas-- some we ordered, and many sent to us by family.

"Maybe if I sit on it long enough it will hatch..."

We made a gingerbread train this year. Robby was a good helper until he discovered the building materials were edible. This picture is just the beginning of the train.

"Come on... just let me eat the licorice...."

We got together at a friend's house to make gingerbread creations. We brought our train to work on. Still didn't finish it, but made some progress.

One day, Robby took off his pants then walked away. Came back shortly after with a roll of toilet paper and proceeded to wipe his diaper with a square of toilet paper. Turned out he did have a poopy diaper. Haha.

Playing with James.

Robby was helping me sweep up some little bits of granola on the floor. I told him "Good job. You are such a good helper." As I went to dump the contents of the dust pan into the trash, he grabbed the bowl of granola and dumped the rest on the ground.....then proceeded to sweep the huge pile of granola.....spreading it across the floor. What a good helper...... :/

Christmas:

Here are the matching monkey pajamas my mom sent us!
We love them.
You know you are jealous. :)

(wrapping paper stuck to his foot)

Here are some of the main gifts Robby received (thanks grandparents!)
Train

Chocolate Lab

His very own table and chairs!

His own keyboard.

And, this has nothing to do with Christmas, but isn't he handsome with his hair slicked? haha. Looks like he actually has hair.

November 2010

2011-02-07T01:43:00.002-05:00

(reminder: these posts are just a compilation of the "best of" pictures from my i-phone. many are just random moments I captured that are funny to look back on)

Helping with laundry...

(notice the scrap of bread Robby decided to top his tower of cans with)

We opened our Christmas present a little early..... why not? Thanks to our parents for helping us buy this keyboard! We are so excited to have it!

For a while there, Robby would go into his room at least once a day, climb up on his rocking chair and read his Book of Mormon Stories. If the book wasn't up there already, he would climb back down and search for it saying "book? book?" It couldn't just be any book. It had to be that one.

Robby and his buddy, James. (yes, they have the same rocking chair that we do...we copied them).

Those two boys are about 8 months apart, but they have so much fun together!

Oh, I should mention that November is when Robby finally started to walk! He was over 15 months old.... silly kid. He had taken a few strolls earlier in the month, but it was over Thanksgiving break that he finally decided he would adopt it as his new mode of mobility.

October 2010

2011-02-07T01:11:00.001-05:00

(Recently, I transferred all of my pictures I had taken on my i-phone and put them on my computer... and I realized I had taken a ton of random pictures on there! Which, is great! But, unfortunately, because it is so convenient to just have my phone with me at all times to take pictures, I have hardly taken any day-to-day pictures with a better camera. Thus, resulting in lots of pictures of poor quality. But, as, I have been going through them, they have definitely brought back memories of moments that I may not have otherwise captured. And, so, despite their poor quality, I will post them here... because, that is all I've got... and at least it is something. The next few posts will be a compilation of the best of the bunch. Obviously I do have a few pictures with my better cameras... it is probably pretty obvious which ones those are.)

Monkey in a tree.

Don't underestimate the potential a few tiny moth things hanging out in your pantry....

We ended up throwing away pretty much EVERYTHING in our pantry (and belive me, that pantry was PACKED), due to it all being infested with moth larvae. Thank you so much MARIA for all your help! I am not just talking a little cupboard... this is a walk in pantry...

How horrible, disgusting, and maddening this ordeal was....

I hate you, stupid moths....

We made a fun suprise visit to Utah when we found out my sister was going to be there from Switzerland. While there, we had a multi-holiday party! We combined Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year all into one evening! It was awesome! We had stockings hung (complete with a couple presents!), a little tree up, we did trick or treating for the kids, wore costumes, ate a big feast, etc. etc.

(horrible picture....but, pretty much the only one I took! sad...)

Our ward has an annual "Trunk-or-Treat" and Chili cook-off every year. This year we tied for 3rd place with our chili and we also won....

Not sure why we got best "family" costume....

it should have just been Robby.

Steve and I just stuck leaves to ourselves and said we were trees....

The REAL star

was Robby.....

This is the costume I made for him.

I knew I wanted him to be a squirrel for Halloween before he was even born. Haha... I remember we were walking at the park and saw a squirrel and I said "next Halloween, the little Robby of ours should be a squirrel with a big ol' tail!"

So, this year, after not finding a good pattern for one.... I went about modifying a pattern for a lion costume and making my giant squirrel!

And, a mighty fine squirrel he was!

Luckily, he couldn't walk yet at this point..... because, I don't know if he would have been able to walk well with that tail!

Cutest..... squirrel...ever....

October 11, 2010

2011-02-07T00:34:00.000-05:00

(I decided to get back on here and make an attempt to catch up from the past 5 months that I haven't blogged! I discovered this post in my drafts... and I am not sure why it never got posted.... Here is the start of a series of "catch up" posts")

Over the past three weeks, Steve was out of town for school. He was doing his Surgery rotation in Bryan, Ohio. He stayed in a house there and came home on the weekends. I have to say, these past few weeks have helped me to realize how exhausting single parenting would be. I mean, I am used to it being just me and Robby all day long, but by the time Steve gets home at night, it is nice to let him take over for a while! And, luckily, Steve almost always seems happy and excited to do so.

It is so fun to watch him and Robby and all the silly things they do together.

We were able to go to MacQueen apple orchard and pick apples with our friends the Felts the other day.

And here is Robby enjoying his harvest.

More Chores

2010-09-15T11:31:00.000-04:00

One of Robby's favorite things to do lately...

...Vacuum the floor with our little sweeper vacuum....

Check him out! Doing douby duty!

I wish this love of "doing chores" could carry over into his teenage years...

He is quite the little helper! Haha...

Unfortunately, he makes way more messes than he actually cleans up.

While I am busy trying to clean up one mess...

Robby is busy making another!

Other Highlights from our Utah trip

2010-09-01T16:12:00.000-04:00

Hanging out with cousins

Hugging the girls

Robby LOVED all the girl cousins! He would just attack them and hug them! He doesn't quite know how to be gentle, so they got a little overwhelmed by him sometimes!

Climbing up and down stairs...over...and over... and over....

We don't have stairs in our home in Ohio (at least not ones inside our actual part of the duplex). So, Robby hadn't really been exposed to them much. But, he has always been a climber. So, he found great joy in climbing up the stairs at both grandparents' houses! And within a day or two, he was able to go back down safely as well.

First time in a big swimming pool

Steve's parents have a pool in their neighborhood. Robby enjoyed it right from the start!

Hanging out with Toby

Robby was very interested in my parents dog from the first night we got there. But, he was a little nervous whenever Toby would come towards him. But, by the end of the trip... I think Toby would get a little nervous every time ROBBY would come towards HIM! I was impressed that despite having his hair pulled and his head sit on, Toby never tried to bite Robby.

Update

2010-09-01T15:21:00.000-04:00

Robby is almost 13 months now, but still doesn't walk. He will stand there for a while, but hasn't tried taking steps yet.

It is the opinion of many that his efforts have been more focussed on his vocal/vocabulary skills than on trying to find a new method of mobility.

He jabbers away all the time. The other day, when I was at a store, the lady in line behind me commented, "When he starts talking for real, he is never going to stop!"

When Robby hit the 12 month mark, he could say two words...maybe three:

Hi
&

Cheese

(No, not smile for the picture "cheese,"..... food cheese. Have I mentioned this kid loves food?)

He also said

Down

Although, that word isn't ennunciated with perfection quite yet, we know that is what he is saying. It is more of a "Dahh" accompanied with an arm waving towards the ground. (He says it when he wants to get out of his high chair).

In the four weeks since his birthday he has started saying the following words:

Eye

Dad

Bye

Uh-Ohhh (see video below)

Ball

Uh-nana (banana. see video)

Duck

Toes

Juice

Brush (toothbrush)

Four or five of those words were just within the past week! I swear he does something new every day-- whether it is saying a new word, or stacking blocks (and clapping in pride at his success), or crawling into the kitchen with a piece of paper and attempting to open the garbage can and put it in (haha, he did that twice yesterday).

It is amazing how fast he is learning and progressing.

"Uh-Oh"

"Banana"

In the "Banana" video, you see him clap after spitting out the banana. That is how he signs "more." He has done this for several months now. He doesn't actually do it right. The hands are supposed to be like this when bringing them together:

(pardon the goofy picture... of a random guy)

However, that was a little difficult for him when we first started teaching him, and he adapted it into a flat handed "more" instead. But, we know what he means. He has made good use of that sign for the past several months!

It's about time...

2010-09-01T08:57:00.002-04:00

Now that he's one, we expect Robby to do his share of the chores...

(Really he just climbed up there when Steve was unloading the dishwasher and decided to start pulling things out and handing them to Steve. It was really funny. This was actually a couple weeks ago.)

Mountains

2010-08-27T21:54:00.000-04:00

My parent's live at the foot of the mountin in South Weber, Utah.

The view from their house (which is where the following pictures were taken) is BEAUTIFUL!

Mountains are one thing I miss when living in Ohio.

Girl's Outing

2010-08-27T21:13:00.002-04:00

My mom, sister Megan, niece Kahri, and I went and got pedicures together while we were in Utah. My first pedicure ever.

Thanks, Mom, for taking us!

And thanks Chris for watching Robby for me!

And thanks to the shaved ice stand out in the parking lot for providing me with a raspberry daiquiri shaved ice :)

Annual Kirkham Family Reunion-July 29th-31st

2010-08-27T21:07:00.001-04:00

An event I look forward to each year. I was glad to be able to attend this year.

Nothing like getting together with a large group of crazy Kirkhams!

I love my family!

Helping uncle Daniel prepare for the song they would perform in the program that night.

My brothers and Dad sang "Man of Constant Sorrow." It is always fun to hear/see my family do things like this together!

Robby and Noah (my cousin Jill's little boy.... Robby's 2nd cousin?)
Staying cool

No camping trip is complete without roasting 'mallows.

One Year Old

2010-08-26T13:19:00.000-04:00

So, I read this cute idea of something to start when your baby turns one:

Take a picture of him...

...wearing clothes that are meant for someone much older....

....and every year, around his birthday, take a picture of him in those exact SAME clothes...

...until they finally fit!

We've got many years to go!

Here's to year number ONE!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ROBBY!

2010-08-25T12:25:00.002-04:00

Robby turned a year old on August 4th.

We decided to have a party out in Utah so we could celebrate with our families before heading back to Ohio.

EVERYONE from our families-- my side of the family AND Steve's side--was able to come! So all of Robby's aunt's, uncles, and cousins were there (Even Steve's grandpa joined us). The only person missing... Steve :(

So, 25 people gathered at my parents house on Sunday, August 1st for a dinner and a Birthday PAR-TAY!

(a little pre-party music)

I strung up pictures of Robby as decor.

It was fun to look back through pictures from the past year and remember how much my little boy has changed over the past year.

No party in the Kirkham house is complete without balloons... and for this party, my dad fetched one HUGE balloon! He even got this net thing so we could rig it up like a little hot air balloon!

Each of the cousins took turns picking a present out of the basket of the "hot air balloon" and helping Robby open it.

At cake time, I wasn't sure what to expect. Would Robby dig right in? Would he be timid and not want to make a mess? (unlikely, considering his usual disregard for how messy he is)

As the candle was lit and everyone sang, he looked around-- a bit bewildered.

Then, when he looked over and noticed the cake with flaming candle coming towards him... he appeared a bit nervous!

Finally, he stuck his hand into the frosting and seemed quite pleased with the feel of it...

...but still didn't seem to quite understand what this was, as he just sat with his hand in the frosting for a while.

So, I decided to help him out a bit. I took his frosting smeared hand and put it to his mouth to give him a taste (and then returned his hand to its spot on the cake).

Even after that, he still just sat with this hand on the cake for quite a while! He obviously still didn't know what he was suppose to do with this thing.

Eventually, aunt Jamie suggested giving him an eating utensil.

"Sweeet! A spoon!"

"...Oh, I get it...!"

Dig in!

Cousin Rylie did NOT approve of Robby's messiness.

After a quick bath in the sink, Robby talked to Daddy on the webcam so he could be a part of the party, too!

I think everyone had a lot of fun. I know Robby did.

(Three Robert Tollers)

The little girls topped off the night with a dance off!

Thanks everyone for a fun party!

HAPPY BIRTDAY, ROBBY!

Pioneer Day

2010-08-23T11:48:00.001-04:00

Robby got to witness his first fireworks while we were in Utah.

I kept him up late so he could enjoy the event with the fam.

He was very amazed at the sight...

...but, not too sure about the loud noise.

Though my niece, Kahri, adored the booming sounds......(not).

Robby was barely keeping his eyes open by the end.... but, still kept his gaze fixed on the awesome works of fire...

...good times, good times....

Family

2010-08-11T16:01:00.000-04:00

It was fun to have all my siblings there while I was visiting. Megan and her husband and kids live in Switzerland, but luckily we were able to schedule things so that we were both in Utah at the same time!

Daniel (15), Megan (24), Me (26), Jordan (13 next week), Chris 28

And here are the three cousins...

Kyler (6), Robby (turned 1 a couple days after this picture), Kahri 2

Utah- July 2010

2010-08-11T14:01:00.001-04:00

Well, Steve started his first rotation on July 12th at a hospital in Lima, Ohio. That is about an hour and a half from Toledo, so they provided housing for him there and he was staying there for 3 weeks. We had decided that this would be a good time for Robby and I to make a trip to Utah, since Steve would be gone anyway.

We arrived at the Salt Lake City airport at 10 p.m. (12 a.m. eastern time....) on Wednesday, July 7. Needless to say we were a bit exhausted. But, that of course didn't stop us from staying up for a couple hours once we arrived at my parents house! Robby was so excited to start exploring and become reacquainted with everyone (including my parents dog, Toby).

The next day we were able to celebrate my older brother's birthday (Happy Birthday Chris!) by going to out to dinner with my family. We went to a really good Japanese restaurant.

Robby insisted on eating with chopsticks like the rest of us!!!

(sorry for the poor quality phone pictures)

He sat there and tried to stab his food to pick it up. After a couple failed attempts, he would grab the morsel of food by hand and shove it into his mouth. But, this didn't stop him from continuing to try with the chopsticks.

He ate so much food there (as usual). At the end of the meal when everyone else was done, he wasn't satisfied and everyone started handing over their left overs for him to devour.

The most hilarious part was when he decided he didn't want to wait for grandma to give him more fish off of her plate. He would just get it himself. He suddenly swung his arm over and started digging around my mom's plate with his chopsticks. When he retrieved his chopsticks, he was completely surprised (as were the rest of us) to see a large flab of fish skin hanging from his sticks! He seriously just sat there holding the chopsticks straight up and just staring at it for a while, amazed that he made such a catch (and wondering whether it was edible). We all just sat there laughing and hurried to try to get a picture. Eventually (probably because nobody was making any move to remove the mystery object from him) he decided maybe he should give it a try, and went to grab it with his hand.

At this point, I did snatch it from him before he could eat it.

(more Utah adventures to come)

Halfway Done!... (sort of....)

2010-07-02T12:33:00.000-04:00

Well, Steve is half way done with Medical School! Now, that sounds great, until you think about the fact that after 2 more years here in Toledo, he'll move on to Residency for at least 3 years, then he'll have a few more years AFTER that if he decides to specialize...

But, for now, we'll just say WE ARE HALFWAY DONE (with Medical School)!!!! It sounds much less daunting that way.

Steve has definitely been working hard.

Here he is with his piles of papers and books that he studied through his second year of medical school.

He took what is referred to as "Step One" on June 18th. This was a huge test (7 hours I think), the results of which will help determine which residencies he is qualified for (at least that's how I understand it).

I am so proud of him and all his hard work and dedication.

We were happy to send all these papers to their new home-- the recycling bin.

But, of course, Robby had to dig through and see if there was anything he wanted to keep first.

Steve got one week off after his test, and is now one week into his 3rd year of Medical school.

"Swimming"

2010-06-10T14:00:00.016-04:00

Robby has always loved the bath and loves splashing in any water he can find (a puddle made by him pouring his water out on his high chair, water pooled up in the dishwasher door, etc.). So, I thought he might enjoy a little pool to play in in the heat of the summer!

He did have a lot of fun!

But, he didn't hessitate to let us know when he was done....

(I'm outta here!)

This kid LOVES to eat!

2010-06-04T07:21:00.014-04:00

He was thrilled when I let him hold the whole banana.

Yes... that is how he eats.... .shoving entire handfuls of food into his mouth!

2010-06-03T11:32:00.002-04:00

Steve’s parents came to visit May 13-17. It was so nice to have them here!

Before they came, we were nervous that Little Robby was not going to let them hold him or anything. He has had major separation anxiety for the past few months! It probably doesn’t help that he is with me pretty much all day every day and has only been left with a “babysitter” a handful of times (3 to be exact) over his entire 10 months of being around!

Anyway, we were very pleased that he warmed up to Grandma and Grandpa Toller rather quickly! I was able to walk out of the room without him freaking out within the first hour. Haha…. He actually does a lot better if I am out of sight. (We have been working on getting him to go to other people more over the past couple of weeks. He is progressing.)

We were very glad that he got to spend time with his grandparents! We really enjoyed having them here.

We went to...

...to the Toledo Botanical Gardens and Wildwood Preserve Metropark.

(I loved watching Little Robby with his Grandpa Robby! So cute. And neat to see just how much Robby is already like one of his namesakes.)

Mother's Day2010

2010-05-28T10:38:00.000-04:00

2010-05-07T20:22:00.002-04:00

Robby has just taken off these past couple weeks-- quickly going from scooting forward, to crawling, to climbing over everything, to pulling himself up and standing!

Life was better before I fell for you

2010-05-06T15:23:00.002-04:00

Life was better before I fell for you.

I went 25 years, completely happy with just the occassional casual encounter.

You were always there, trying to lure me in with your qualities that seemed all too irresistable to so many other girls.

But, I took pride in the fact that I wasn't tempted.

All the girls couldn't believe it.

How could I not be in love with you?

Maybe I was crazy or abnormal. But I didn't care.

I didn't need you-- I didn't WANT you.

But, you didn't give up...

I was pregnant, and you seemed to try even harder to work your charms on me.

And, during that time of vulnerability, it happened.

I fell for you.

And now I can't get enough of you.

I wish you would go away... I was completely fine without you....

I feel out of control... unhealthy... you aren't good for me....

Go away chocolate....

go away......

2010-05-04T14:36:00.001-04:00

9 Months

2010-05-04T12:52:00.004-04:00

About a month ago, Robby was starting to scoot around on the floor BACKWARDS. The wood floor made it pretty easy for him to slide around. (The first clip on the video was during that stage...). Then, on April 12, he suddenly realized that by using his arms, he could pull himself forward! Since then, he has had many adventures in crawling! He is EVERYWHERE now! Though he can push up on his hands and knees, he doesn't actually crawl like that yet. He'll either just pull himself with his arms or do an army crawl.

2010-04-12T12:09:00.001-04:00

We had an enjoyable Easter last Sunday. Steve's best friend (also from Utah) just happened to move to Lansing, Michigan last summer for D.O. School (aka medical school). We were so thrilled that Jared, Melisa, and little Olivia would be moving out in our general area. They are only about 2 hours away. That might sound pretty far, but hey, of all the places they could have ended up, 2 hours really is quite close!!!

We get together about once a month. Usually we meet halfway somewhere and go to dinner or something. But, occassionaly we switch off driving the full distance and coming to each other's houses. It is funny, because we see each other more now than we ever did when we all lived in Utah! Anyway, we love our friends the Hiatts. They came down to Toledo to spend Easter with us and watch Conference with us. Olivia is SOOOOOOOO adorable, and she is soooo cute with Robby! She plays with him and takes care of him and "reads" to him. So cute. Here they are on Easter, chilling in the Love Sac together. Also, Olivia loves fruit, so while she was here I helped her make some little flowers out of pineapple, grapes and strawberries.

The day after Easter, I discovered that Robby had another tooth that had cut through!

So, 2 on bottom and 3 on top now.

I do realize that the following pictures are not the most flattering pictures of my little chubber cheesy baby. But, really I was just trying to get the teeth. (Try to just ignore the double chin.... and that Quasimodo eye....)

And boy, oh boy.... you sure can't miss those top front teeth, can you??? He slightly resembles a hippo.... or a bunny maybe..... or, probably more likely it's just me he resembles. Poor kid appears to have inherited my jumbo teeth.

I got this little "car" toy for Robby a couple weeks ago. I got it at Once Upon a Child (a store where they have used children's clothes and toys) for just $7.50. It also flilps up so that as he gets bigger he can use it to help him walk. For now, he likes to sit on it or sit next to it and play with the different knobs and stuff.

And, last month we FINALLY bought a highchair!

Robby has been eating solid foods for 3 months now. But, for the first couple months we would just sit him in his Bumbo seat to feed him. It is soooo nice to actually have a high chair. He is just too wiggly and big now to keep using the Bumbo. Plus, it is fun for him to be up close to everyone in his big chair.

Spring Break and Rob-BEE at the Zoo!

2010-03-10T21:29:00.000-05:00

This week is Steve's spring break. It has been nice to have him home. And, to make it even better, the weather has been lovely! It is in the 50's all week! We went walking to the park by our house Monday and Tuesday. Robby "went down" the slide for the first time. He loved it.

Then today, Keriann invited us to go to the zoo with her and James. This was the first time Robby has been to the zoo since he has been old enough to even remotely care.

We had a great time!

Steve and Robby loved the hippos! They were so active and fun to watch!

There is a fun kids area in the zoo called Nature's Neighborhood. There are some really neat things in there and fun things for the kids to do. There was even a little "pond" for the babies. haha.

But my favorite part was the adorable little Rob-BEE we found!

A Visitor

2010-03-10T16:33:00.000-05:00

It was my mom's birthday on March 7th. We were lucky enough to have her come visit for the weekend! Robby was in dire need of some Grandma time :) She could only stay for a few days, but we were so happy to have her, even for that short time!

2010-02-21T21:10:00.001-05:00

Perfect little angel?

2010-02-16T13:07:00.001-05:00

Every time I take Robby out in public, random strangers comment on how "quiet" and "smiley" and "so happy" and "just perfect" he is. I just have to laugh to myself, because at home for the past week every time I set him down he just screams and goes hysterical. But, at least he puts on a good show in public....

2010-02-16T12:58:00.000-05:00

Happy Valentines Day

2010-02-14T10:08:00.005-05:00

2010-02-08T15:26:00.000-05:00

About once a month, we get together with a group of Steve's med school friends. We typically switch off having it at different peoples houses and have a pot luck dinner or something.

On Saturday, we all went to Sakura Japanese Steakhouse for a night out together! Sakura is a tepanyaki style restaraunt where they grill the food in front of you and entertain you with crazy knife skills and flames.

Robby was completely captivated by the experience. He couldn't take his eyes off of the grill.

We had an enjoyable evening together and ate some tasty food.

Fun times indeed.

6 months old

2010-02-07T23:02:00.013-05:00

On February 4th, Robby reached his half year mark.

In the past 6 months he has gained 9 pounds, 4 ounces, 6 inches.....

...and one cheesy smile!

We sure love that little guy!

Sitting up, a Slinky, and a Silly Scrunched Face

2010-02-04T00:54:00.001-05:00

Punxsutawny Rob

2010-02-02T20:56:00.000-05:00

He noticed his shadow today for the first time.....

....ironic...

Big Boy!

2010-02-02T20:51:00.000-05:00

A couple weeks ago I started having Robby try sitting up on his own more. He has been practicing and practicing, and over this past week he has mastered it! I can't believe it! I will post a video or picture soon... until then, here he is just being cute and looking too old.....

First "Solids"

2010-01-30T21:59:00.000-05:00

On January 8, shortly after he turned 5 months, we started Robby on baby food. (sorry, I know messy food faces gross some people out). His pediatrician suggested starting him on meats and vegetables rather than the cereals that people usually do. She said that they are starting to think maybe that will help kids not get too used to all the starches. Makes sense. Anyway, his first food was chicken! He seemed to like it. Just needed a little practice figuring out exactly how to swallow it... but it didn't take long.

Christmas Break

2010-01-18T22:20:00.001-05:00

Well, Steve finished his exams on Friday, December 18th and we flew out bright and early the next morning.... at 6:50..... Sure 6:50 might not seem that early to some people, but when you take into consideration that we live about an hour from the airport AND it was the weekend before Christmas AND it was supposed to be snowing.... We ended up leaving at about 3:45. Now you can't argue that THAT is not super early!!!

Thanks so much to our friends the Carters who drove us to the airport so bright (actually, dark... why do they say "bright and early"? It's not light that early... that is one reason it is so miserable....) and early!

Robby did quite well on the airplane. I was relieved.

One nice thing about leaving so early was that, with the time change, we arrived in Utah by 9:30a.m.! We were a bit tired, but excited to spend that first day with our families. That night we had our Toller Family Christmas party.

We were sure to get a picture of the four generations.... three of which are Robert Tollers.

Notice how Robby has his bottom lipped sucked in? He was doing this a lot that week leading up to Christmas. He also continued to chew like crazy on everything, as he had been doing the previous weeks. Everyone told me he was probably teething.

A few days before Christmas, my family (along with Steve's brother Adam) got together and made gingerbread houses!

I had planned to make a gingerbread train that night, but ended up taking care of a hungry and tired Robby. So, my nephew Kyler helped me make it on Christmas Eve.

Christmas Eve we had a little shindig with my family. My parents bought a new house over the summer. It was so fun to be together with everyone and actually have enough room for all of us!

We had a night full of food.......conversation.....

....singing Christmas songs....

...during which my niece Kahri just couldn't resist the urge to dance.....

.....a talent show....

...featuring break dancing by my nephew Kyler....

....which quickly turned into everyone dancing to Michael Jackson....

.....followed by the amazing musical talents of my three brothers.......

(They sang/played a rendition of Joy to the World. It was seriously so awesome!...watch the video below...)

(sucking that lip in again, eh, Robby?)

Robby was so excited for his first Christmas that he hardly slept at all that night! (Riiiiggghhhtt......I'm sure that's why he was up all night......)

Christmas morning.......

(showing off his cool trick Daddy taught him....Not even 5 months old and already standing! haha.....and sucking in that lip yet again....)

Enjoying the contents of his stocking...

Later that day we headed over to the Tollers, and then we all went over to visit Grandpa Toller (Steve's Grandpa, Robby's Great Grandpa-- Robert Toller #1).

Grandpa helped Robby open his present from Great Grandpa.

It was a nice Christmas. So nice to be able to be with our families and enjoy time together.

Robby got so spoiled in those weeks we were out there. He was a little nervous around all the new people when we first got out there, but by the end, he was loving all the attention and had warmed up to everyone.

We headed back to Ohio on January 6th. It was sad to say good bye, but we left with lots of new memories, a suitcase full of Christmas presents, a spoiled, but well-loved Robby......

...and TWO NEW TEETH!

December 15

2009-12-15T23:04:00.003-05:00

On December 4th, Robby turned 4 months old!

At his 4 month appointment, he was:

15 pounds 9 ounces (only 65th percentile now! before, he was 90th percentile)
His percentile for head size and height is in the 80s... I'll have to find those stats again. Anyway, he continues to grow, but it looks like he's been stretching out a bit. He appears to have lost a bit of that froggy belly.

Wow... I keep thinking he should still be a newborn... but he definitely is not! It is amazing how much he has changed even just in the past couple weeks!

On December 5, I put Robby on his belly for some tummy time. He looked so cute like he was posing for a picture. I walked out of the room for like 30 seconds, thinking I should grab my camera, and when I looked back he was on his back! That was his first time rolling over and I missed it. :(

Over the next week or so he did it a couple more times, but each time... I missed it. Steve did see it a couple times. Then, today (December 16th) he rolled from his back to his belly! Now he keeps doing that over and over. Every time I set him down he flips over onto his belly! So I have finally seen him roll. He still doesn't go from belly to back very often. But, he is getting quite good at the other way! My little boy is becoming mobile!

2009-12-03T09:15:00.000-05:00

I walked in the front room and found Steve exercising.

He is so innovative in his methods of getting a work out.

I love it.

And so did Robby....

Thanksgiving: Continued...

2009-12-03T08:46:00.000-05:00

Hooray for good friends. It was fun to get together with the Felts and the Hansens again for Thanksgiving.

However, for some reason it just didn't feel like Thanksgiving...

Was it because I did a lot of the cooking?

Or perhaps because there wasn't any snow on the ground yet?

Maybe it's because I didn't put a fancy table cloth on the table...

Actually, I think the main reason was because we weren't with our families.

I know we weren't with them last year for Thanksgiving either, but somehow last year felt more like Thanksgiving. I think the fact that the Felts hosted it last year and Keriann's mom was in town somehow made it feel more normal...something about having that motherly figure there.

Anyway, I really did enjoy spending time with our friends. And we had plenty of tasty food.

I am thankful for good friends out here in Toledo. They are like our little family our here.

Even the little boys seemed to enjoy themselves.

It is fun to see James and Robby start to "interact" more. James wants to crawl on Robby and play with him. For now Robby can't do much more than smile and laugh and maybe grab James' shirt. But, he is getting more and more interactive each day.

He has started using his hands a lot more and wants everything in his mouth! Steve likes covering his finger with a burp cloth and letting Robby chew on it.

I am thankful for....

2009-11-30T23:57:00.000-05:00

...my boys!

Well, there is a lot to cover from the past couple weeks.
Where shall I begin......?

Lets back track to November 19th-- Steve's 28th birthday.
Steve decided that he wanted to have some friends from school over on his birthday. They had just finished their big final for their Immunology and Infection course earlier in the week. So, no body had much objection to leaving behind the books for the evening and coming over to our house for an ICE CREAM PARTY! Steve is not a huge fan of cake. So, we had ice cream with different toppings and brownies.

(If you look closely you can see the one candle glowing in the pan of brownies. We were singing to Steve in this picture).
Thats right folks.... there were 10 of us there.... and 7 different flavors of ice cream!
Quite the spread.
It was fun to get to know some of Steve's classmates a bit better. I think Steve enjoyed having them over and showing off his little boy as well.

Speaking of the little boy...
Robby got his first bout of sickness shortly after Steve's birthday. That Saturday, he started coughing a little bit and Sunday he seemed like he just wanted to be held most of the time. Then, Sunday night, when he was already awake for the second time and it was only 3 am.... I knew I was in for a long night. I took his temperature and found that he had a slight fever around 101. Robby and I spent the next couple nights sleeping on the couch. I wanted to be close to him, so I could keep tabs on him. Anyway, he only had the slight fever for 2 nights (only at night). Other than that, he's just had a sad little cough. He was such a trooper through it all. Even on the days when I could tell he didn't feel well, I still got little smiles from him.

....such a little sweetie....

On Wednesday I woke up feeling that Robby had likely passed on his sickness to me... I delayed my Thanksgiving preparations that I had planned for the day and took a nap for a few hours. Luckily, Robby was still not feeling top notch either so he slept the whole time I did! Good boy.

I spent the remainder of Wednesday preparing for Thanksgiving. This was my first year hosting Thanksgiving. And so, it was my first attempt at making a turkey! I was a bit nervous...what if it didn't turn out?!?! I would ruin Thanksgiving for everyone...hahaha.

But, of course, being ME... I have to make everything more complicated than it needs to be. So, did I just rub the turkey with oil and pop it in the oven? Of course not! I decided I was going to brine my turkey for a day before roasting it! It actually turned out to be a really good thing that I decided to do this.
Not only did the turkey turn out wonderful and moist... but, had I not decided on this method then we might not have had a turkey at all!
Why?
Well.... you see, when I pulled the turkey out of the fridge on Wednesday to put it in the brine, I found that it was still ROCK SOLID FROZEN!!! It had been in the fridge for a few days.... I really thought it would have thawed by then! Can you imagine if I had pulled the turkey out on Thanksgiving and it was still frozen solid? I would have freaked out! Luckily, since it was only Wednesday, I had time to thaw the turkey in cold water in the sink. Due to this, I wasn't able to brine it as long as I'd hoped, but it still turned out great!
I was so happy.

THANKSGIVING:
TO BE CONTINUED.....

2009-11-19T15:52:00.003-05:00

A Trip to DC

2009-11-17T21:26:00.001-05:00

Looks like a new tradition might be in the making. Remember when I went to Nashville last year and saw my parents (my dad had a work conference there)? Well, this year they headed to Washington DC and I was able to join them again!

We stayed at the Gaylord National hotel. Not nearly as awesome as the Gaylord Opryland in Nashville last year. But, we did enjoy plenty of good times together and even saw a few sights.

I had planned on driving, but my parents said they'd feel better if I flew since I'd have Robby with me.

And so, Robby got to experience his first plane ride! Luckily, it was only a one and a half hour flight. And he did a lot better than I had feared.

It was fun for my parents to be able to see Little Robby! They came out to Toledo when he was born, but of course he has changed A TON since then!!!

He had fun chilling with Grandpa at the hotel...

(notice he is very interested in his hands and feet lately...)

....spending Grandpa's Birthday at Mt Vernon (George Washington's estate)....

(...how the heck did my finger get in that picture.... whoops... it was my dad's phone...I didn't know what I was doing...)

...spending Sunday visiting the Temple with Grandma...

...seeing a giant man sinking into the sand in National Harbor (near the hotel)...

...riding the metro...

...which was apparently a bit frightening....

...but worth it when we went to the zoo and saw the Giant Pandas!...

(These pandas have this HUGE outdoor habitat that is amazing. We walked all around the zoo looking for the pandas in their habitat. Finally, in the end, we found them indoors.... sitting on concrete.... crazy bears...)

It was sad to say goodbye to my parents, but, at least we know we'll see them again next month! We fly out to Utah on December 19th. I can't believe we are already heading into the holiday season! Robby's first holidays... Where has the time gone?

Hooray!

2009-10-29T11:10:00.005-04:00

So, Robby's tummy time used to look something like this.

(yeah... he gets really red and sweaty when he cries)

He would make no attempt to lift his head. He'd just lay there and cry most of the time.

Ever since we got the rug, I have been trying to do tummy time more.

And on Monday, October 26th, Little Robby finally lifted his large noggin off of the ground.

It was funny to watch. I think he had been strong enough before, he just didn't think about trying to lift his head. So, when he finally did, it was like "Oh... hey.... this is much better than laying here with my face planted into the ground!" And then he just kept doing it over and over.

"Hey, Ma! Look what I can do!"

We sure love our jolly little guy. It is so fun to watch him develop and grow and gain a little personality.

Robby did a full out laugh for the first time on Wednesday, October 14th. And ever since then, it has become easier and easier to get him to laugh. The first times he burst into laughter I wasn't even sure what was so funny! But, he sure found something humorous! Now it is easier to trigger the laughter. It seems a lot of the times he laughs is when he's on his changing table and we are talking to him.

Here is a laughing outburst from yesterday.

Enjoy.

Rug

2009-10-19T11:09:00.009-04:00

We purchased a rug last week.

We decided that since our home has no carpet in it, we should probably get a rug. I wanted to be able to put Robby on the ground so he can learn to roll over and crawl when it's time. The hardwood floors make it hard to do that, because even with a blanket on the ground, he would just slide all over when he'd move.

Anyway, here is our early Christmas present.

I think Robby likes it, too.

Oh, and on that collage, check out that hilarious smile he does sometimes.

You know which picture I'm talking about....

It's so funny because he pulls his chin back to his neck and puts his tongue up to the roof of his mouth. Hahaha.... Funny kid.

So, last Thursday night Robby slept 7 hours straight! I was so excited, but tried not to get my hopes up too high. Up until then he had been waking up usually just once a night to eat. There was the occasional night when he'd wake up twice, but most nights just once. So, that wasn't bad. But, hey, who wouldn't want a full night of uninterrupted sleep? So, of course, I was hopeful..

Anyway... he slept 7 hours straight Thursday night....

Unfortunately, since then, he has been waking 3 or 4 times a night!!!

Ahhh..... hopefully he's just going through another little growth spurt (haha... this kid is going to be a giant!) and he'll get over it soon.

But, until then... I'll probably be getting up several times a night...

Good thing he's so stinkin' cute.

How can you get upset at a face like this?

What? He hasn't grown a bit....

2009-10-15T14:23:00.005-04:00

Okay, so that first picture isn't a very cute picture of him... but it's all I've got.

And it illustrates my point perfectly:

IT APPEARS I MAY BE MALNOURISHING MY CHILD...

HE JUST DOESN'T SEEM TO BE GROWING!

But, he sure is cute, nonetheless.

It's official....

We're going to keep him.

Gettin' Cozy

2009-10-12T09:16:00.003-04:00

Ya know, I am not looking forward to the cold mornings that come with winter.

It makes it so hard to get out of bed....I just want to stay in there where it's nice and warm...Of course, with a baby, thats just not as doable anymore.

So, after Robby's first feeding the other morning, we cuddled up on the couch and bid farewell to poor dad who had to head out to school.

I am so grateful for a wonderful husband that works so hard to prepare a good future for our little family.

And, I am so blessed to have a little snuggle partner to keep me company every day.

Gordito

2009-10-09T15:34:00.004-04:00

Definition:

Gor.di.to noun

chubby guy, roly-poly, dumpling

Gordito adjective

chubby, a little bit fat, pudgy, roly-poly, tubby, well-rounded, chuff, well-upholstered

And that, my friends, is the nickname I have adopted for

my 2 month old son.

GORDITO

Yesterday, Robby had his 2 month appointment.

He now weighs 13 pounds 8

ounces.

He is in the 90th percentile for his weight and 75th percentile for both height and head size.

Man we love our chubby little guy! It is funny how once you actually KNOW how much th

ey weigh, they suddenly feel so much heavier! Hahaha....

Here is the unsuspecting Gordito ready to head to the doctor's office. Little did he know he was getting shots....

And.... Here he is after getting stabbed in the leg twice.

It was sad to watch him go through that, but I am so grateful we have immunizations available to prevent things much worse than a little stab in the leg.

Anyway, he did quite well at the doctor's office. He just smiled up at the doctor while she looked him over. She said she was impressed with how social he is. And she was glad to see him thriving so well... all 13 and a half pounds of him.

I can't believe how fast this little dude is growing up. I put him in this outfit the other day...

...and Steve said he didn't like it because he looked all grown up and it made Steve feel like he'd missed Robby growing up.

I think he looks so adorable in his "big boy" clothes.

But, it is crazy how big he has gotten in just 2 months time.

FIVE POUNDS in 2 months.... that is over half of his birth weight!

Man.... I must be producing pure cream.....

Chatting with Dad

2009-10-03T09:03:00.005-04:00

(At the end of that first video, that word Steve says is a French word meaning "been discovered" or "unmasked" or something.)

Growing

2009-10-02T14:07:00.004-04:00

2009-10-02T08:37:00.003-04:00

Robby met his first love this week....

....his right hand.

Robby won't take a pacifier. Most people tell me not to force it on him if he's not interested, because then I won't have to try to get him off of it when he's older.

It has made it hard for him to be soothed without contact from someone else (or the motion of the swing that the Dockter family let us borrow-- thanks!) But, over the past week he has discovered his hand and he goes to town sucking on it quite often now. Not his thumb, but his wrist, his knuckles, and sometimes the entire fist seems to miraculously fit into that big mouth of his.

Another new development....

Our little bald child is growing hair!

Look closely... he's got an even layer of fuzz growing on that noggin of his. It is so cute because it looks like I buzzed his head! hahaha.

Man I love this kid.

Rewind: Part 3

2009-09-25T15:05:00.008-04:00

Soooo.... tired........

::::::::Am I dreaming... or are people really talking to me?...::::

:::::I don't know what they're saying... they sound so far away...::::::

My mind was foggy as the pungent smell of rubbing alcohol summoned me to open my eyes...slowly....

Nothing was in focus, but it seemed there were people standing around me....

:::::I just want to sleep.....::::

The voices and faces slowly became more clear

"Jenni. Jenni, stay with us. Good, stay with us. Jenni."

These were not the faces I expected to see when waking from a nap....

......... and why were they all right in front of my face?

They faded again.... blurring and seeming to dissipate into the foggy dream I couldn't quite figure out.

Sooo.... tired....

I tried to pull myself from the half asleep stupor I felt I was in-- like waking from a dream and not remembering where I'd fallen asleep.

Why were these people so insistent on waking me from this restful slumber....?

It felt good to sleep...

How long had I slept....?

"Jenni. Jenni, stay with us."

My eyes strained to focus on the faces floating around me.

Why was I asleep sitting up?

:::::Where am I?::::::

I tried to rake through the clouds that enveloped my thoughts.... tried to grasp the last thing I could remember-- trying to separate the dreams from reality.....

::::::Oh, that's right.... I had had a baby!..... I'd walked to the bathroom and sat down......::::

The haze started to clear.....

:::::I remember sitting down.....then saying I felt really dizzy.... but that's all I remember....::::

"Jenni."

The unfamiliar faces surrounding me took form once again. The alcohol smelled so strong..... I tried to make sense of it all....

"Jenni, stay with us. Can you hear me, Jenni?"

:::::Oh, I get it! I fainted! What a strange feeling....::::

I blinked over and over, trying to fight the urge to go back to "sleep." The voices sounded closer now. I didn't recognize them, but they were nurses, I figured.

"There you are. Can you hear me?"

I confirmed that I was aware now of what was going on.

They spoke to me, but I don't really remember what was said... because soon the voices started getting distant again.... and the faces melted into this mottled mix of dream and reality that I just couldn't control.

Sooo.... tired....

Man, it felt good to sleep. What a nice nap.... wonder how long I'd been asleep....

And what was that strong smell?

::::::::Am I dreaming... or are people really talking to me?...::::

:::::I don't know what they're saying... they sound so far away...::::::

This all felt eerily familiar....

What was going on...?

::::::::Oh yes, that's right... I was at the hospital, I fainted....::::

I grasped the reality a bit more quickly this time and strained to bring things into focus.

:::::::::::blink..blink.... blink::::::::::

There were more faces now.

"........go........ orange juice....."

I heard them talking through the haze that I couldn't push away.

:::::blink.....blink,blink:::::::

I jostled my head repeatedly, hoping that if I kept moving I would more easily be able to stay alert and aware.

"Stay with us, Jenni. Look at my face. Focus on my face."

I did focus for a bit. Good, maybe I was in control now. It's hard to say. I think I spoke to them.... saying something about how weird it felt... like I had just been napping.....

I continued blinking and shaking my head as the voices became less distinct and more distant. I was trying to hard to keep them close.....but I felt sooo..... tired.....

I don't really remember the exact series of events.... I remember at one point there was a cup of orange juice in front of me with a straw. They were telling me to drink it.

I drank and drank.

I blinked and blinked.

I faded in and out.....

Did I ever finish drinking that orange juice?

At times I felt like I was with it. They told me I looked better. I conversed with them....somewhat..... But, then suddenly I was waking to the smell of those smelling salts again.

Why couldn't I keep my eyes open? This was ridiculous! They said it was a good thing Steve had been there.... he was the reason I was still sitting up, and not collapsed on the floor. Its all such a blur....I had no sense of the time passing.

Sooo......tired......

There I was laying on a rolling bed as they hooked me up to a monitor. I blinked and shook my head.... over and over.... why? Oh yeah, because I wasn't supposed to fall asleep. But I was laying on this bed now.... it was so hard not to give in.....

Wait.... when did I get on this bed??? I thought I was in the bathroom....

I vaguely recalled them sending for a wheelchair.... but instead they had come with a... a rolling office chair? May be that was a dream....who knows. I must have gotten in the chair and been wheeled out of the bathroom .... but.... the only thing I remember was them rolling me away on a bed....who knows how I got on the bed... what a jumbled mess my memory was....

"You can go to sleep now. We've got monitors on you and you're laying down."

Oh, good.... I could sleep now.....no more fighting.....

(Later my mom told me that she thinks about 30 minutes passed from the time I had gone into the bathroom to the time they felt I was stable enough to transfer me to the recovery room. She said she thought I had fainted 5 times, maybe more while I was in the bathroom! I remember one of the nurses saying that in the 7 (?) years she had been doing this, she had NEVER seen a case of fainting as bad as mine!)

The next distinct thing I remember was when it was time for them to take me to my recovery room. I felt so much better at this point. They handed me Robby before we headed out to the hall. Oh yeah! Robby! I had almost forgotten about the baby in the midst of all the chaos..... the baby, which was the whole reason I was even at the hospital in the first place. Anyway, I held tight to my precious little one as I lay in that bed and they pushed me down the hall.... or maybe I wasn't holding him...... okay so, maybe I don't remember so "distinctly." I actually wasn't quite as "with it" as I thought I was at the time. I do remember us passing a pregnant girl that was out walking the halls. The nurse said that girl was in labor out in the hall because they didn't have enough delivery rooms open yet! Whoops.... busy morning for everyone.... poor girl.

We reached my room and they carefully transfered me to the bed there. After getting me situated, my new nurse told me that I needed to empty my bladder within 6 hours of delivery (so, I guess I hadn't even done so the first time....). So, that gave me until 10:30 to do so. She made it very clear that I was not to get up on my own. I needed to have her in there to help me so I needed to page her when I was ready.

There was no way I was going just yet. I was going to put it off as long as possible.

Right now, it was time to rest.

Sleep was greatly desired at this point.

And so, I slept.

***

****
*****
******
*****

****

***

:::::::Sleep is good....

........but why do I have to dream about that awful fainting experience.......

........that smell pulling me from my unconscious state.......those distant voices again, faces floating in front of me.....

"Don't look down. Jenni. Focus on my face."

::::::::....coming into focus.........

But wait, those aren't the same faces..... different nurses... weird.....:::::::

Then I realized.....

:::::::Oh.... my goodness..... this isn't a dream! It's happening again!::::::

The fog cleared more quickly this time.I remembered now, I had called the nurse in at 10:15. I had waited as long as they would let me before trying to use the restroom. The nurse had come with another nurse as backup....ready with smelling salts..... just in case.

I couldn't believe it had happened again.... at least this time I was able to stable myself more quickly. I only fainted once that time. Better. Hopefully next time, I could make a trip to the restroom without all this excitement.

(There I am after the second episode. My mom said I looked a lot worse the first time... I had no color, I was so pale. But, she said it was all to freaky to be taking pictures that first time.)

Gratefully, that was my last fainting episode. They did take my blood to see if they could tell what the problem was... if my blood sugar was low or if I'd lost too much blood or something. I don't know. But they didn't find anything. They figured I must have just been so exhausted and my body just couldn't quite handle it.

What a weird experience.

At least I have some great stories to tell Little Robby when he gets older about the day he was born.

Apple Pickin'

2009-09-25T08:39:00.004-04:00

Monday night we headed out to MacQueens Orchard for a ward Family Night!

It was fun to be there with friends and pick apples off those awesome apple trees.

Seriously.... those trees' branches hung all the way to the ground!

Robby enjoyed hanging out (literally) in the Snugli for the first time.

Somehow I ended up not picking many apples myself.......

I think I may have been too distracted by this face staring up at me.......

But, Steve and Jon and Keriann (whom we split a half bushel with) picked plenty.

Now.... time to put all those apples to good use!

(Too bad I had just made a huge apple crisp the night before.... hmmm..... I sense some of these apples are begging to be dipped in caramel and coated in other delicousness....)

Rewind: Part 2

2009-09-10T07:39:00.005-04:00

"....please.... please.......please"

I couldn't see the baby very well from where I was. The doctor was stitching me up and was blocking my view(or perhaps I just didn't want to see....). I could see the team of people gathered around him and hooking him up to monitors and who knows what else. Mostly I just listened....

"Come on.... give us a cry..."

......and continued my pleading......

"...please....please...."

The nurses asked the doctor if he came out with his cord around his neck. She said no, but that the cord came out with him or by him or something. She didn't sound like that should have caused any problems.

THE APGAR SCORES

Okay, so, I think it is helpful at this point in the story to lay out some data. It helps illustrate the extent of the situation. I didn't know any of this information at the time, but knowing this stuff now gives me a better idea of what was going on while I was laying there unable to focus on much more than praying that my child was going to live.

Here is the info I got from research online:

"The APGAR scoring is a simple and repeatable method to quickly and summarily assess the health of newborn children immediately after childbirth.

The Apgar score is determined by evaluating the newborn baby on five simple criteria on a scale from zero to two, then summing up the five values thus obtained. The resulting Apgar score ranges from zero to 10. The five criteria (Appearance, Pulse, Grimace, Activity, Respiration) are used as amnemonic learning aid.

The test is generally done at one and five minutes after birth, and may be repeated later if the score is and remains low.

Scores 3 and below are generally regarded as critically low,

4 to 6 fairly low,

and 7 to 10 generally normal.

If your baby scores between 4 and 6, he may need some help breathing. This could mean something as simple as suctioning his nostrils or massaging him, or it could mean giving him oxygen. If your baby scores 3 or less, he may need immediate lifesaving measures, such as resuscitation. Keep in mind, though, that a low score at one minute doesn't mean that your baby won't eventually be just fine, particularly if there is an improvement by the stage of the five-minute test."

The question on your minds I am sure......

"SO WHAT WERE ROBBY'S APGAR SCORES???"

At one minute: 3

Five minutes: 6

Ten minutes: 6

I don't know how long it had been when he finally let out a short little cry. I think a couple minutes. I felt a slight relief at that sound, but it didn't quite ease my worries. He didn't keep crying. Just made a sound and then stopped again. They continued doing... whatever it was they were doing. They needed him to cry more.

I remember at one point seeing that they were sticking tubes down his nose and sucking stuff out. Eventually he cried again. He was definitely progressing, but they still weren't satisfied.

I was relieved when Steve came back to my bed side and was actually smiling. Steve said he was fine. At least at that point I was convinced my baby was going to live.

I think the point when I felt the most relief was when this special doctor (which they had urgently called for in the beginning) finally showed up and all he did was pretty much laugh and then leave. Right before he got there Robby had improved a ton. So, by the time he arrived he was almost like "Why the heck did you guys call me here?? This kid is fine!" The nurses explained to him what the situation had been and he just told me congrats and then left.

Apparently things must be fine if this doctor didn't even feel like he needed to

be in the room for more than 30 seconds.

As my doctor finished stitching me up, she said that she thought he had just been in shock from the transition. She said that his heart rate was perfectly fine the whole time I was pushing and everything, so it's not like anything was wrong before he was out. She said he might have sucked in a bunch of fluid right at the end as well.

Who knows what caused it... the important thing was he was alive and finally breathing.

Once they had him breathing the room air on his own for a while (without helping him with that little contraption) and made sure he was stable, his APGAR was finally a 9. They measured him (8 lbs 8 1/2 ounces and 21 inches long) and then finally brought him over to me.

It was almost unreal to actually have this baby in my arms-- my baby.

After the heart ache of 3 miscarriages....

....fearing at times that I would never give birth to a child....

....and now having endured the terror that he wasn't even going to live to take his first breath....

I was finally a mother.

He didn't have to go to the NICU or anything, gratefully.

I nursed him for the first time and he latched on right away, no problems there.

I held him for a while and admired him.

ANOTHER SCARE

What a long night....

I should have been exhausted, but I think I was too happy and relieved to feel it.

The nurse brought me some food, even though I didn't really feel hungry. I gave Robby to Steve while I started eating a little bit.

It was some time before 7 a.m. and the nurse was going to be getting off her shift soon, so she decided to try to have me empty my bladder. (Come to find out later, she probably wasn't really supposed to have me get up and walk yet, but she was trying to finish things off before her shift ended). She asked if I could move my legs well enough to stand. I felt just fine. I swear I could move my legs right after giving birth. I think I had let my epidural wear off to much at the end....

So, they carefully helped me get up and walk over to the bathroom. I felt pretty stable as I slowly walked in and sat down. Steve was by my side, helping to hold me up. At the time I didn't really think I needed it. But, it was a good thing he was there..... because I did not at all expect the crazy events that followed.....

TO BE CONTINUED.....

Rewind

2009-08-30T20:45:00.014-04:00

INDUCTION SCHEDULED

After much anticipation, Little Robby's due date (August 2nd) finally came!..... and went. The following day, I had an appointment with my doctor. I saw her at about noon. She checked me and said I was barely dilated to a 2 and was 60 percent effaced and softened and thinning. I had been having some cramps that day, but mostly just discomfort. So, she said she could either induce me the next day (Tuesday, August 4th) or Saturday. She was excited that she would actually be around to deliver my baby, since she had been out of town until the previous day. I said I'd just assume do it sooner! So, it was set. I was going to have my baby tomorrow! I was excited but nervous. Part of me was kind of relieved to just know I was coming in tomorrow and not to have to try to guess when to go to the hospital. But part of me still worried...... what if something happens before then? How do I know when it's time to go to the hospital???

Well, as the day progressed, I made sure my bag was packed, finished some last minute projects and proceeded to make a celebration dinner for my last night before little Robby's arrival. The cramps continued throughout the day.... gradually becoming more intense. As my mom and I were finishing making dinner, the cramps had gotten quite painful and I was sure those were contractions. I made it most of the way through my plate of food before I got hit with one contraction that drove me to leave the table and go lay on the couch. It was about 7 pm at that

point.

CONTRACTIONS

After a couple of hours of timing contractions (that were ranging anywhere from 9 minutes apart to 4 minutes apart) my dad suggested we just head to the hospital. (He was still out in Utah. But, he is a doctor and I'm always bugging him with my medical questions.... we had called and asked when exactly I should go to the hospital). The worst they could do was send me back home and I'd just go back in the morning to be induced. At this point the contractions were pretty intense, so I was hoping they wouldn't just send me home and make me go through this all night! So, we got to the hospital around 9ish... I'm not exactly sure. And, they decided to keep me there when they checked me and I was dilated between 4 and 5 centimeters.

So, NO INDUCTION AFTER ALL!

EPIDURAL

So, they put me in room 7 (7 happens to be my favorite number, by the way) and there they hooked me up to monitors and proceeded to get me ready for the night's events. I was surprised how pretty much as soon as I was hooked up and everything, the nurse asked if I wanted to get an epidural and said I could go ahead and get one as soon as the IV put enough fluid in me. I was expecting to have to wait many hours and endure many more horrible contractions before I could get the epidural! However, while I was relieved to have the pain eased soon.... I was

actually a little nervous. The thing I had most dreaded about labor was getting the epidural. The thing that worried me most was having to hold still while they did it! As the nurse explained the procedure, she said "They are usually pretty fast. You'll just have to hold still through a couple contractions is all." Hold still THROUGH the contractions? Now that I was actually in labor and noticed that my way of coping with contractions was to move around a lot..... now I was even more worried about trying to hold completely still while they stuck that big needle in my back!!!!

But... not worried enough that I was going to opt out of getting the epidural :)

A MIRACLE

So, as I sat on the edge of the bed, leaning over as the anesthsiologist prepared my back for the proceedure... I silently prayed (and begged) that I would be able to hold still. I was apparently so focused on waiting for a contraction to come (and on my begging) that I didn't even realize when she actually put the needle in or anything. All I remember was at one point she asked me, "Are you having a contraction right now?" I was confused at the question.... why was she asking me that? Obviously I wasn't or it would be obvious. After stopping and paying closer attention for a few seconds I responded, "Uhhh.... no... I don't think so." Strange.

Then, next thing I knew, she was done. As I began to marvel at the fact that I hadn't had a single contraction the nurse chimed in,

"Wow, you did great! You had two really strong contractions right in a row while she was doing that!"

A little miracle? I think so...

So, there I lay, glad to have an epidural and surprised at how those contractions quickly faded to nothing more than a peak on the monitor.

And there Steve sat.... tired? Or nervous?

Not sure... perhaps a little of both.

DELIVERY

The next few hours consisted of me trying (not very successfully) to get some rest (by orders of the nurse, who suggested I would need all the energy I could muster for the events that would be coming), Steve sleeping (evidenced by his snoring) on the floor, and my mom trying to snooze on a chair in the room.

The next thing I really remember was that I started to be able to feel a lot of pressure. The nurse checked me and said I was nearly all the way dilated... I told her I felt like I needed to push, but she said I needed to hold off a little until that last little bit dilated. I know the doctor broke my water at some point... I'm thinking perhaps that was before all the pressure. It is all kind of jumbled in my mind at this point.

Anyway, it was starting to get REALLY uncomfortable (almost painful) trying NOT to push!!!

Finally, she checked me and said we were good to go.

PUSHING

I think it was a little before 4a.m. when I started pushing. The baby's heart rate had been good the whole time and continued to be so. The main things I remember about pushing were 1) feeling like my head was going to explode from holding my breath and 2) wishing I could push with each contraction. The doctor said I was having strong contractions too close together, so she wanted me to rest through some of them.

I knew he was about to come out when the doctor said to just give a small push (I had seen that many times on TLC's "A Baby Story").

It was 4:30 a.m.

And here came little Robby....

SOMETHING IS WRONG....

I saw Steve start to cry as I felt the pressure go away (and I assumed Robby was out). I didn't have the rush of happy emotion I had imagined I would have. Instead, a wave a fear rushed over me as they layed the limp body on my chest.

"Is he okay? Shouldn't he be crying? Why isn't he moving?"

They assured me he was fine. But, as they had Steve quickly cut the cord and they suctioned his mouth and nose, I could tell they weren't being completely truthful.

Still no crying. Just a little limp baby staring up at me with big eyes.

They quickly took him away and called in a team of people.

I am not sure how long the next series of events lasted or the exact details of what happened. I just lay there on the bed pleading over and over

"Please, please, please... please... please...."

He couldn't die now. Not after everything. Would God really let me get this far and then let him die?

"Please please please please....."

Steve went over to watch what the team was doing. My mom stood by me trying to comfort me and assure me everything would be fine. But, I could see on her face that she was just as scared as I was.
"Please...... please please.... please......"

.........TO BE CONTINUED...........

The First 3 Weeks

2009-08-26T13:44:00.000-04:00

Little Robby Toller

2009-08-09T12:48:00.003-04:00

Robert Michael Toller joined us on August 4th at 4:30 a.m. He came on his own-- no induction, no c-section (though mom did get a much appreciated epidural). Stay tuned for more details on the events of his delivery.

5 DAYS LEFT!

2009-07-28T15:40:00.003-04:00

For details on our status, check out the Toller Tot blog.

(find the link on the right of this blog)

2009-07-16T12:43:00.004-04:00

Almost there!